Eight

Being grateful.
This is often a hard concept for me. I think that, being the dreamer I am, I’m always looking at the things I want, the things I’m striving for, and I often forget to pause and look back on all the things I already have.

We have a day every year in America that we use to celebrate and remember the things we are thankful for. You know, I get where everyone is coming from with that concept, but I think that we should remember what amazing things we’re blessed with on more days than just one. Hell, remember them every day for that matter. Sometimes we dwell on only the list of unfortunate events that happen to us. Trust me, I know. My mind likes to remind me of my hardships daily. So what better way to combat that negativity than to remember all the things we’re fighting for?

I have a lot of things to be grateful for.

My wonderful friends.

My beautiful sisters.

My strong mother.

My silly nephews.

Coffee.

Seriously, do not take caffeine for granted. I went a week without it and it was brutal.

Just making a list of all of the positive things in your life can increase your mood, so why not give it a shot? It doesn’t have to be something as serious as a significant other or the “perfect” family. It can be something like having great makeup skills, a good singing voice, a band that you enjoy, the fact that it didn’t rain today (or that it did rain, if you fall into that category of people, along with me).

There’s a family of YouTubers that I watch every day. You may know of them, they’re called the Shaytards (link to their channel here!!). One thing that I hear them repeat often is this: “You are alive on the Earth. Right now! This moment!” I’ve heard it countless times while watching their vlogs, and it never fails to make me put things in a different perspective. I’m not alive on the Earth in my past, or in my future. I’m alive on the Earth right now. Here, in this moment, not ten years from now where I’m accomplishing the things I wish for, not a year ago where I’m wishing I’d done things differently. I’m here now, and only have control of this moment, and I need to appreciate life in any way I can in the current moment. I’m focusing on all of the things I want to have soon and not focusing enough on the blessings in my life that are here today.

My legs look good today. I’m grateful for that. One of my best friends checked in on me. I’m grateful for that. I get to babysit my nephews today. I’m grateful for that. Anna is spending the night, and possibly Alex. I’m grateful for that, I’m grateful for them.

It’s good to have ambitions, goals, wishes and dreams. I’m so happy for people who have those, because that means you’re alive, because it’s a natural part of being human to want something. But don’t forget to take a look around you. If you get too hung up on all the things you want, one of the things you’ve had might slip through your fingers, and then regret kicks in… Which we’ll discuss in a post for another day.

I know it can be hard to remember, especially when the world throws things at you that try to break you apart, sometimes for no apparent reason. But if you really think about it, that’s the moment when you need to remember the goods thing in your life most.

I hope you are all grateful for at least ten things today.

Love always, Sofia.
  

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Seven

I have discovered so many new albums that I am completely obsessed with. They’re not necessarily “new” to the world, but I just now discovered them. Well, except for Beneath the Skin by Of Monsters and Men. That one I’ve just been putting off listening to (sorry guys).  I know, I know, I talk about music ALL the time and it seems like I have nothing to say that’s unrelated. There’s just something about falling in love with an album that I’ve always been addicted to. There’s the run through, where you listen to all of the songs in order. Then you pick which you liked the most and re-listen, and then begins the picking apart of lyrics. At least, that’s what I do. Sometimes. Sometimes I can’t understand what they’re saying and just jam out for a good time.

Currently I’m really into songs that amp me up. Friction by Imagine Dragons, Moth to the Flame by Chairlift, DOwntown by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis (yes, the o is supposed to be that way)… I listen to them when I need to get going, which I’ve been doing a lot more lately! I’ve been trying to eat healthier and not sit in my bed all day. I recently participated in and completed the thirty-day Shayloss challenge (hell YEAH), which kicked my butt but really has set me on the right track. It was awesome to see how during the second week of the challenge, I already felt better. I felt a lot more confident and just overall healthier, which is a blessing for a kid who is constantly sick.

Speaking of being confident… blegh. Why is it that, no matter how badly you want it, it’s so hard to obtain? Why is it such a fleeting emotion, one that will stick around for a day and then leave you for three months before it pops in to say hello again? It’s like confidence is some unreliable friend that promises to stop by and pick you up but is always either eight hours late or just doesn’t show whatsoever?

All I want is to love who I am. Why is this so hard to do? Shouldn’t it be, like, a guarantee when we’re born? There’s going to be so many people in this world that we don’t get along with, can’t we at least be buds with our own bodies?

Like I said… bleghhh.

I will say that I’ve found that when you surround yourself with people who sport confidence, it makes it just a tad bit easier to show it off yourself. My friend Alex was slaying the scene last week and posting selfies, and that confidence inspired me to take a few of my own (shoutout to that short-lived star filter on Snapchat). Don’t ask me why my brain works this way, there’s a lot of workings up there that not even I will ever be able to understand. Another thing I do when I need the extra I’m-feeling-okay-with-how-I-look-and-who-I-am boost is read Kirstin’s blog (link here!). Like I said, there’s something about seeing people who kind of understand in some way how you’re feeling that it’s possible to really love yourself! (If anyone makes a Justin Bieber pun I’m going to fight.)

I’ve taken more selfies over this past week than I’d like to admit. I even took one that (gasp!) I liked enough to change my icon to! That’s always got to be a major event for me, because that’s the photo everyone sees when you post something on Facebook, Twitter, etc…

I like to make big deals out of things that aren’t big deals.

I think that in an age of easily-accessible photoshop it can be harder to be confident, but I said it in my first blog post: just because you don’t look like someone else who is considered beautiful by many, that doesn’t mean you yourself are not beautiful. I’m willing to bet you’ve got your own group of people who think you’re beautiful, and who would be able to list a few reasons why. If you’re one of those people for yourself, I’m so proud of you. That’s awesome. If not, work on it. You’ll get there one day. I’ll work with you. We’ll make progress together.

Now, I’m going to go listen to the new Panic! at the Disco album again and read a book I stopped in the middle of months ago because I fell into a slump. I love you all, and hope you have a wonderful day. I hope that, if your unreliable buddy confidence isn’t knocking on your door, that they show up very soon.

 

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