Seventeen

Hey everyone!! Sorry it’s been forever, I was waiting for something semi-exciting to happen before I posted. I have a point to get to, but I’m tired of trying to look like I’m some wise advice-giving blog. Trust me, I’m not. This is like me talking back and forth to myself in my head… The fact that any of you read this is incredible to me. And when some of you send me messages about how it’s helped you? Whoa.

You guys! Tonight was so awesome! My wonderful best friend Anna took me to see the stage production of The Wizard of Oz. While I was skeptical, they did such a fantastic job. The score was on point, they used script from the actual movie… I may have cried, just a bit. 

Before and after the show was sick, too. Anna and I got there an hour early to see John Fricke (who is an actual Oz expert, he’s freaking MET Judy Garland), who spoke a bit about the story and how it’s adapted over the years. Someone else had brought in their collection of Oz-related stuff, and I gasped the entire time like a little kid staring at candy behind glass.

After the show, I got to go backstage and see some of the set, also in total thanks to Anna. I got to stand next to the apple-throwing trees, guys. Cross that off my bucket list. I also met the cast of the show, and I was literally too nervous to talk to the girl who played Dorothy because I was so blown away by her phenomenal performance.  

I love meeting females who do something lead-role related. It’s so inspiring. I remember when I met Caroline from Chairlift a while back, I told her how excited I was to meet her because people are constantly telling me that I’ll never make it as a musician because I’m female, so to see her slaying the stage with her talent gives me some hope.

I remember that she was appalled when she stepped back from our hug and said, “Who told you that? Someone from a hundred years ago?” 

From a standpoint, we do think that, don’t we? It doesn’t seem like a bias as such would still be going on in 2016. You’d think we’d have moved on. 

But then I see some sick story in the news, something filled with sexism and/or double standards, and having someone still say in this day and age that I won’t make it because of my gender doesn’t seem so impossible anymore.
I’ve been told by a family member who will remain nameless that it’s hard for girls in any industry, but it’s especially tough in music. A lot of record companies want something they can sell, she told me, and one of the most sure fire things they could put out there is a cute boy that tons of hopelessly-in-love fans will fawn over.

How annoying is that. And pretty dream-crushing, too, so I guess that’s why I latch on and look up to people who put that assumption to shame. Taylor Swift, Kirstin, hell, even Judy Garland was throwing that in the trash. And, honestly, their statement about females having a harder time being successful just made me want to work harder to prove her wrong.

But are there truth behind her words? Are we still that set back? Sometimes, when I’m at a concert, I think so. I remember going to one with my friend, and there was a young boy with a very poppy, catchy sound that played first. The crowd ate him up, cheering for his winks and flirtatious smiles. He was okay, but I wasn’t super into his music. Then the next act came out, part of which was a female singer. It was kind of appalling to see how many people were talking loudly during the set and just not paying attention, despite how hard this girl was killing it.

I think there’s a chance for everyone. No, scratch that, I know there is. It doesn’t matter what your gender is, what your sexuality or skin color is. Screw what everyone else says about it. If you want it, if you put in the hard work, you’ll get there.

I hate double standards. I hate the blatant sexism that continues to take place in our world. It drives me absolutely insane. I wonder if there will be a day where someone says, “I was told I deserved it because of what I was wearing,” and someone replies with, “Who told you that, someone from a hundred years ago?”

Love you all,

Sofia

Sixteen

I’ve been trying to think of a blog post to write lately, but it’s been hard to be positive. And that’s always something I try to spread on here, positivity. But America… We haven’t been looking so good this week.

It’s been hard for me to stop crying. I’ve always been super sensitive, but I think that this is one of those things that strikes everyone. This is one of those days where everyone is somber. This is going to be one of those days that’s remembered… And I despise that. I can’t stand that we have to have days like this, days of rememberance for such terrible tragedies. The fact that there is so much hate being spread around, it’s the very opposite of positive. There have been so, so many pointless deaths lately. Completely innocent people have had their lives taken from them. It’s gotten to a point that I dread looking at my news channel, because you just never know what else you’re going to see.

Some days I wake up and hear the beginning of a story about a tragedy, and I think, “What on earth happened now?”

It’s that constant. Can you believe that? Isn’t that awful? We already have so many natural disasters against us, and the fact that we’re purposefully adding more on top of all of that makes me sick.

It makes me angry that I feel so powerless over the situation.

It makes me so completely heartbroken that so many people living their lives had that robbed from them.

It makes me nervous to go anywhere at all anymore. Because you just never know.
 

Today, in church, my pastor preached about how we need to take down some of the walls we’ve built when it comes to other people. We need to accept diversity, open our hearts to people. We should not hate someone solely because they are different than us. Who on earth cares if someone has a different sexuality than you? How in the world does that affect you at all? Also, how do some people justify that it’s okay for them to believe in their religion, then point angry fingers at those who don’t have the same views because they believe in something else? That doesn’t make sense to me.

We are all human.

We are ALL different in our own ways, but we are also all made of the same stuff. Skin and bones, all of us.

Your skin color isn’t your ranking. Who you love is not a choice.

Break down the walls that make you think otherwise.

I guess if there’s anything we can do that is remotely positive… It’s to show love to the ones you care about.

Do not take anything for granted.

Don’t just assume someone knows you love them, tell them. Don’t just assume they’re going to be there tomorrow, because let’s face it, you really don’t know for certain. The world throws things at you that don’t always make sense. Don’t let your sibling leave after some petty fight where you were both heated over who drank the last Diet Coke. Hug your parent and thank them for all they do. Send your best friend a text/call them and express how grateful for them you are.

Do not take anything for granted.

Do not take anything for granted.

Do not take anything for granted.

You don’t want to skip out on that and then have something happen, leaving you to always regret not doing it when you had the chance.

Spread love, not hate. Because this has to stop. Enough is enough.

My heart goes out to the family and loved ones and fans of Christina Grimme. My love goes to the families of the victims of the attack this morning in Orlando. I cannot begin to imagine the pain that you’re going through and experiencing.

I know that I am a nobody, but my heart hurts. This is our world. My thoughts and prayers are with every single one of you.

Love you all,

Sofia

Fifteen

Do you ever see other couples and smile? Like, do you ever see a couple that you can tell was made to be together, and it’s just so awesome to see that love that it makes you joyful yourself?

I do.

I know a lot of people can get a tad depressed when it comes to spotting other couples, but I don’t know… I don’t think I’ve ever been that way. I’m not saying I’ve never been jealous, because when it comes to jealousy it’s my biggest flaw, no matter the situation (ask literally anyone that knows me). But sometimes I see Instagram and Twitter and Facebook posts about markers in a relationship, cute little dates a couple went on, or even just selfies of the two people together… and it makes me happy. Sure, I’d want to have a relationship like that myself, but it’s awesome that they get to have that now.

I don’t think it’s fair to anyone to be bitter over someone having the time of their life in a relationship solely because you are single. It’s hard not to do, but I think in the end the only thing that changes is your self-esteem, which might have plummeted during the thought process.

I’ve seen a lot of different relationships in my life so far. A lot of failed/failing relationships. And it breaks my heart. I think my brain was hardwired to believe that relationships are meaningless and don’t work out from day one, for reasons I won’t get into right now. But that’s not true!! Through seeing different couples be happy together and work through the rough patches and truly stick to their promises and love unconditionally, I’ve started to believe love is real again. This will probably sound silly, but isn’t that magical? To not only be in love with someone, but to have that love affect others in such a way? I think that would be really cool.

I think that relationships and marriage are taken too lightly these days. I think that there are a number of people who don’t realize that vows are called vows for a reason. “‘Til death do us part.” That’s some pretty heavy stuff, yet some throw it around like it’s nothing! I’m not saying we should wipe out divorce, that’s not what I’m saying at all (nor do I want it to happen, as unfortunate of an event as it can be). But if you’re going to break up with someone because of a little fight that you’ve decided you’re too tired to work out, then maybe you shouldn’t have been married in the first place because you weren’t ready to be married. That’s just my opinion.

Don’t rush into marriage. Believe it or not, it’s a really big deal.

When I see these little things that break up couples, it makes me feel kind of hopeless.

A lot of things I see make me feel kind of hopeless, if I’m honest.

I lived a few years wholeheartedly believing that I would never get married because marriage doesn’t work out these days anymore. The thing that I forgot is that every person, every couple, is different. The same goes for any situation. Some people like grapes and some people don’t, some people are made for each other and some people aren’t.

I think part of the reason I grew so discouraged about love is that I watched a lot of Disney movies as a kid (and, erm, still do). It made me biased about what it meant to be in a relationship. You don’t just meet someone and within a single day get engaged to them (they glue in that tactic in Enchanted, but that was released more in my pre-teen years and I was already too far gone by that point). 

Relationships mean a lot of work (a lot). They mean loving blindly and stepping through issues together. The mean being someone’s rock and holding their hand in a time of weakness. Often times they involve forgiveness and resolutions. It’s not all kisses-on-cheeks Instagram posts (though those can very much be part of relationships too!!).

When I talk about it this way, I make relationships sound almost not worth the trouble. But that’s so not true. Love is one of the greatest things that can happen to a human being, and though it makes you vulnerable (and that can be so scary), I think it’s all worth it.

Also, remember that some people have to go through a lot to find the perfect one for them. Dating can almost be like trials sometimes.

What I’m trying to say is, love is real. I had to have visible proof to believe in this, and if you’re on of those people I can help you out.

There are couples like Shay and Colette Butler. They run a YouTube channel and are known as YouTube’s first family (if you wanna check out their channel click here). I’ve referenced them before. They support each other so beautifully, no matter what the project is. It’s super adorable to watch their videos, because they’ll just be walking as a family into a store or through a theme park or something along those lines, and one of them will move the camera to focus on their spouse and compliment them. They continue to show their love for one another, even if just in a small, simple way.

  

Then there’s couples like Jeremy and Kirstin (oh man, that engagement this week!!). Kirstin has really hit the nail before about how relationships aren’t perfect but they’re worth it, and I love that about them. If you need proof that love is real, go check out her latest blog post here. It’s enough to make anyone’s heart break in happiness.

  

Carissa and Michael Alvarado! They’re the definition of goals. For their wedding vows, they wrote a song (listen to it here) and performed it at the ceremony. They play it at their shows too when they’re on tour for their band Us the Duo, and it’s something special to witness live.

  

Getting a little on the punk side here, but Brendon and Sarah Urie. I swoon when I look at their wedding photos, and in Panic! At the Disco’s latest album, Brendon really sings about how he lived the life of a bachelor and how he thought that made him happy, but then Sarah came along and offered him so much more. “Happily ever after, how could I ask for more? A lifetime of laughter at the expense of the death of a bachelor.” I feel like Brendon was one of those people who didn’t really expect to get married, but I could be wrong. Still. Super cute.

Love exists. It’s just not going to be handed to you on a silver platter. Does that mean it’s not impossible? Not at all.

Not even for you.

Love you all,

Sofia.