Fifteen

Do you ever see other couples and smile? Like, do you ever see a couple that you can tell was made to be together, and it’s just so awesome to see that love that it makes you joyful yourself?

I do.

I know a lot of people can get a tad depressed when it comes to spotting other couples, but I don’t know… I don’t think I’ve ever been that way. I’m not saying I’ve never been jealous, because when it comes to jealousy it’s my biggest flaw, no matter the situation (ask literally anyone that knows me). But sometimes I see Instagram and Twitter and Facebook posts about markers in a relationship, cute little dates a couple went on, or even just selfies of the two people together… and it makes me happy. Sure, I’d want to have a relationship like that myself, but it’s awesome that they get to have that now.

I don’t think it’s fair to anyone to be bitter over someone having the time of their life in a relationship solely because you are single. It’s hard not to do, but I think in the end the only thing that changes is your self-esteem, which might have plummeted during the thought process.

I’ve seen a lot of different relationships in my life so far. A lot of failed/failing relationships. And it breaks my heart. I think my brain was hardwired to believe that relationships are meaningless and don’t work out from day one, for reasons I won’t get into right now. But that’s not true!! Through seeing different couples be happy together and work through the rough patches and truly stick to their promises and love unconditionally, I’ve started to believe love is real again. This will probably sound silly, but isn’t that magical? To not only be in love with someone, but to have that love affect others in such a way? I think that would be really cool.

I think that relationships and marriage are taken too lightly these days. I think that there are a number of people who don’t realize that vows are called vows for a reason. “‘Til death do us part.” That’s some pretty heavy stuff, yet some throw it around like it’s nothing! I’m not saying we should wipe out divorce, that’s not what I’m saying at all (nor do I want it to happen, as unfortunate of an event as it can be). But if you’re going to break up with someone because of a little fight that you’ve decided you’re too tired to work out, then maybe you shouldn’t have been married in the first place because you weren’t ready to be married. That’s just my opinion.

Don’t rush into marriage. Believe it or not, it’s a really big deal.

When I see these little things that break up couples, it makes me feel kind of hopeless.

A lot of things I see make me feel kind of hopeless, if I’m honest.

I lived a few years wholeheartedly believing that I would never get married because marriage doesn’t work out these days anymore. The thing that I forgot is that every person, every couple, is different. The same goes for any situation. Some people like grapes and some people don’t, some people are made for each other and some people aren’t.

I think part of the reason I grew so discouraged about love is that I watched a lot of Disney movies as a kid (and, erm, still do). It made me biased about what it meant to be in a relationship. You don’t just meet someone and within a single day get engaged to them (they glue in that tactic in Enchanted, but that was released more in my pre-teen years and I was already too far gone by that point). 

Relationships mean a lot of work (a lot). They mean loving blindly and stepping through issues together. The mean being someone’s rock and holding their hand in a time of weakness. Often times they involve forgiveness and resolutions. It’s not all kisses-on-cheeks Instagram posts (though those can very much be part of relationships too!!).

When I talk about it this way, I make relationships sound almost not worth the trouble. But that’s so not true. Love is one of the greatest things that can happen to a human being, and though it makes you vulnerable (and that can be so scary), I think it’s all worth it.

Also, remember that some people have to go through a lot to find the perfect one for them. Dating can almost be like trials sometimes.

What I’m trying to say is, love is real. I had to have visible proof to believe in this, and if you’re on of those people I can help you out.

There are couples like Shay and Colette Butler. They run a YouTube channel and are known as YouTube’s first family (if you wanna check out their channel click here). I’ve referenced them before. They support each other so beautifully, no matter what the project is. It’s super adorable to watch their videos, because they’ll just be walking as a family into a store or through a theme park or something along those lines, and one of them will move the camera to focus on their spouse and compliment them. They continue to show their love for one another, even if just in a small, simple way.

  

Then there’s couples like Jeremy and Kirstin (oh man, that engagement this week!!). Kirstin has really hit the nail before about how relationships aren’t perfect but they’re worth it, and I love that about them. If you need proof that love is real, go check out her latest blog post here. It’s enough to make anyone’s heart break in happiness.

  

Carissa and Michael Alvarado! They’re the definition of goals. For their wedding vows, they wrote a song (listen to it here) and performed it at the ceremony. They play it at their shows too when they’re on tour for their band Us the Duo, and it’s something special to witness live.

  

Getting a little on the punk side here, but Brendon and Sarah Urie. I swoon when I look at their wedding photos, and in Panic! At the Disco’s latest album, Brendon really sings about how he lived the life of a bachelor and how he thought that made him happy, but then Sarah came along and offered him so much more. “Happily ever after, how could I ask for more? A lifetime of laughter at the expense of the death of a bachelor.” I feel like Brendon was one of those people who didn’t really expect to get married, but I could be wrong. Still. Super cute.

Love exists. It’s just not going to be handed to you on a silver platter. Does that mean it’s not impossible? Not at all.

Not even for you.

Love you all,

Sofia.

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