I am so, so tired at this moment. Mentally, emotionally, and physically.

I went on a mini road trip yesterday with my friends to Chicago. That’s about a four and a half hour drive for us, but with detours to get gas and city traffic another thirty minutes was tacked on.

It was really fun though! Our timing got a bit thrown off so we didn’t get to see many of the sights, but we walked a lot. Which doesn’t sound like a party, but the weather was nice and talking was plenty. Just being surrounded by some seriously awesome people made the drive worth it. Those are my favorite kind of moments, being surrounded by people I appreciate and look up to and think so highly of. I love those kind of moments, and I do my best not to take any of them for granted. I’ve said this before but I’ll say it again; I don’t want to ever look back and wish I had hugged someone tighter, laughed a little more, talked to someone I care about again.

We went to see the band Secret Weapons (you can buy their new EP here or stream it on Spotify here… And I suggest you do so, it’s downright amazing), and right before the last song they talked about how there’s a lot of crappy things going on in the world right now, but that we need to be the change we want in the world. That we can’t just dwell, we need to take action and do something.

I really resonated with that. The fact that every time such tragedy strikes all we do is mourn is not enough. Because it keeps happening! It’s like some sick routine – horrible event, day of remembrance, move on, repeat. Catch that last one? Repeat. It keeps happening. And it makes me think that a RIP hashtag on Twitter isn’t doing any justice. There’s nothing wrong with them, of course, I participate in those too, it’s just… not enough.

The fact that when someone talks about a shooting right now we have to clarify which one makes me feel sick. 

At first I thought, well this is what people do when they’re upset. Mourn and move on. Thing is, in situations like these, we’re not moving on. One definition of moving on is “to change your ideas, attitudes, and/or behavior.” The opposite of that is happening, because we’re still stuck in this vicious circle of awfulness. Nothing is changing. 

There are people killing each other.

And that doesn’t make any sense to me. This violence breaks my heart. It’s wrong

The fact that one person could feel the need to take someone else’s life because of their opinions on race, sexuality, etc… It bewilders me. And I don’t think I’ll ever understand it. I don’t want to.

Last night I was told that I should be the change I want to see in the world. It sounds overwhelming, but it can actually be pretty simple when you break it down. Don’t be racist. Don’t spread hate. DO spread love and acceptance and kindness. Do not kill one another.