Seven

I have discovered so many new albums that I am completely obsessed with. They’re not necessarily “new” to the world, but I just now discovered them. Well, except for Beneath the Skin by Of Monsters and Men. That one I’ve just been putting off listening to (sorry guys).  I know, I know, I talk about music ALL the time and it seems like I have nothing to say that’s unrelated. There’s just something about falling in love with an album that I’ve always been addicted to. There’s the run through, where you listen to all of the songs in order. Then you pick which you liked the most and re-listen, and then begins the picking apart of lyrics. At least, that’s what I do. Sometimes. Sometimes I can’t understand what they’re saying and just jam out for a good time.

Currently I’m really into songs that amp me up. Friction by Imagine Dragons, Moth to the Flame by Chairlift, DOwntown by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis (yes, the o is supposed to be that way)… I listen to them when I need to get going, which I’ve been doing a lot more lately! I’ve been trying to eat healthier and not sit in my bed all day. I recently participated in and completed the thirty-day Shayloss challenge (hell YEAH), which kicked my butt but really has set me on the right track. It was awesome to see how during the second week of the challenge, I already felt better. I felt a lot more confident and just overall healthier, which is a blessing for a kid who is constantly sick.

Speaking of being confident… blegh. Why is it that, no matter how badly you want it, it’s so hard to obtain? Why is it such a fleeting emotion, one that will stick around for a day and then leave you for three months before it pops in to say hello again? It’s like confidence is some unreliable friend that promises to stop by and pick you up but is always either eight hours late or just doesn’t show whatsoever?

All I want is to love who I am. Why is this so hard to do? Shouldn’t it be, like, a guarantee when we’re born? There’s going to be so many people in this world that we don’t get along with, can’t we at least be buds with our own bodies?

Like I said… bleghhh.

I will say that I’ve found that when you surround yourself with people who sport confidence, it makes it just a tad bit easier to show it off yourself. My friend Alex was slaying the scene last week and posting selfies, and that confidence inspired me to take a few of my own (shoutout to that short-lived star filter on Snapchat). Don’t ask me why my brain works this way, there’s a lot of workings up there that not even I will ever be able to understand. Another thing I do when I need the extra I’m-feeling-okay-with-how-I-look-and-who-I-am boost is read Kirstin’s blog (link here!). Like I said, there’s something about seeing people who kind of understand in some way how you’re feeling that it’s possible to really love yourself! (If anyone makes a Justin Bieber pun I’m going to fight.)

I’ve taken more selfies over this past week than I’d like to admit. I even took one that (gasp!) I liked enough to change my icon to! That’s always got to be a major event for me, because that’s the photo everyone sees when you post something on Facebook, Twitter, etc…

I like to make big deals out of things that aren’t big deals.

I think that in an age of easily-accessible photoshop it can be harder to be confident, but I said it in my first blog post: just because you don’t look like someone else who is considered beautiful by many, that doesn’t mean you yourself are not beautiful. I’m willing to bet you’ve got your own group of people who think you’re beautiful, and who would be able to list a few reasons why. If you’re one of those people for yourself, I’m so proud of you. That’s awesome. If not, work on it. You’ll get there one day. I’ll work with you. We’ll make progress together.

Now, I’m going to go listen to the new Panic! at the Disco album again and read a book I stopped in the middle of months ago because I fell into a slump. I love you all, and hope you have a wonderful day. I hope that, if your unreliable buddy confidence isn’t knocking on your door, that they show up very soon.

 

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