Thirty-Eight

CHRISTMAS!!

Well, christmas-time, anyway. But there’s only four days left! Have you done all of your shopping? I haven’t, oops. But I’m better than I was last year! I really procrastinated until the last minute then. I think my biggest problem of Christmas Shopping 2k17 is that I keep giving everyone their gift’s early because I’m too excited to wait. I’ve given my mom like five of hers. But hey, as long as there’s still some left for Christmas morning, right?

I know that this time of year isn’t everyone’s favorite. In fact, some despise it. I know that if you’re without family, December can be a pretty lonely month.

My boyfriend Chris and I were having a conversation the other day about the holiday. He told me that, to him, it was just another day.

“Just another day?” I exclaimed, in my over-festive-loving way. I’m that girl who loves the traditions, who gets starry-eyes at the pretty lights and can’t wait until December to set up the tree. “But it’s Christmas.”

“I think that it’s silly for us to dedicate one day to showing love for one another, to only get gifts and get together on that one day. We should do that all year.”

I pressed my lips together. He had a point, didn’t he? “I think you’re right, but how often would that actually happen, if we didn’t have the holidays? Think about how busy everyone is these days. This time of year… people really want to see each other, because it’s the holidays. It’s not even that they’re obligated. All the time, anyway. It’s also a nice day to just… escape. So much negative stuff happens throughout the year. Christmas gives us a way to have a day of celebration despite that. It’s important to have breaks, to have markers of time. It’s why I love holidays so much — minus Valentine’s Day, ha — and birthdays. People act like birthdays don’t matter to them, but they should! You made it through a whole entire year again. You survived in this world to see another age! That’s definitely something to be celebrated.”

I can’t tell for certain, but I think he may have seen my side of things a little bit, too.

Christmas isn’t just about presents. Anyone will tell you that. It’s about making memories and going to see Santa with your nephews and new niece. It’s about your boyfriend agreeing to go see the lights with you even though he doesn’t really want to all that much but knows it makes you happy. It’s about getting your mom something really meaningful like her handwriting tattooed on your arm to show how much you love her and appreciated everything she did for you during this very trialling year. It’s about seeing those family members who live far away who travelled home for the holiday so they could see everyone. It’s about watching your favorite Christmas comedy to put you and your sister in a better mood after she’s had a tough day at school and your shift at work wasn’t the best. It’s about making some candy cane hot cocoa and wrapping a present up for yourself to open on Christmas morning because it’s time you gave yourself some love. It’s about miracles and celebrating because for gosh sake’s it’s Christmas.

A lot happened this year for me. Not all of it good. And I’m sure a lot of you can relate.

Let’s use this holiday as a break.

I hope all of yours is wonderful — no matter if you celebrate Christmas, Kwanza, Hanukah, or something else.

You all deserve love.

Even if it feels like it’s just another day because you’re not a kid anymore, try to remember what Christmas really is. I know I’ll be taking this advice myself.

Love you all,

Sofia

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Twenty-Eight

Ohhhh man. A busy week is ahead!

I’ve been looking forward to this week/weekend for a while. Tomorrow morning I’m leaving with my friends to go to Rosemont to see Us the Duo and Pentatonix in concert! Then, two days later, I’m seeing them again. And then I’m coming back home and meeting Troye Sivan!!

I haven’t stopped screeching.

Is it weird to meet a celebrity decked out in costume? Because I’m doing it. The Troye concert is on Halloween, and I can’t just not dress up. Can anyone guess who I’m going as?!?

I’ve always loved Halloween. October first rolls around and I’m playing that Spooky Scary Skeleton song and bringing out the big tub of Halloween movies from the basement. It also gives me a reason not to dust, because cobwebs are in (I kid, I kid).

I’m also a fan of dressing up. I love being able to be someone else for a night. I love getting to choose who you want to be, too.

Isn’t that the dream? To choose who you are. To have a choice. A lot of people think we have no say in the matter, but don’t we? You can choose to fight to be happy or stay sad. You can choose to be mean or kind. You can choose to work for something or let it go.

I think I’m looking forward to dressing up as someone else because I haven’t been the best version of myself lately. I haven’t been choosing the more positive options. I’ve been choosing the opposite of happiness, and I am indeed very sad a lot of the time. I’ve just let it take over. I’m not doing anything to change it.

I try to distract myself to keep my mind from dwelling on it, throwing myself into different projects and work and such. But that only goes so far, because at the end of the day I’m alone in my room and everything comes crashing back.

How long can we keep the costume on before everyone realizes it was only a disguise, no matter how alike you might look to it?

This Sunday and Monday, I get to dress up. I get to slip into someone else’s role. I get to choose who I want to be. But come Tuesday, I’m still going to be choosing who I am. I’m going to take the costumes off and be myself, and I’m going to try and make myself better, the best version I can be.

I hope your weekend is safe and wonderful.

Love you all,

Sofia