Twenty-Nine

I’m sure you all knew I would write about this.

The funny and amazing thing is, I have been planning on writing about Kirstin for chapter 29 for about a month now! You’ll find out why towards the end of the post. 😉

I have never, ever been this happy in my life.

Am I sad that it’s over? Extremely. Devastated. Yesterday my snapchat story hit the twenty-four hour mark and erased and I cried over it for thirty minutes.

But, what’s that old, overused saying? “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”

And boy, am I smiling.

I even posted a non-filtered, no makeup selfie on twitter yesterday morning! I have never done that and never thought I would because of how self conscious I am, especially after not having slept more than three hours since last Thursday. But I wanted to capture the memory of being this ecstatic, this content.

For those of you who don’t know what happened, I went to another Pentatonix show in Champaign on Saturday. Alexx and I had VIP, but for the first time ever the show was better for me than actually meeting them. (Though Kirstin told me she loved seeing my songs on twitter and I nearly bawled right in front of her.)

During every Pentatonix show on this tour, the band has set out beanbags on stage and each of them call a person up to sing the song Misbehavin with them.

Ever since it started, I have never wanted anything more.

That might be dramatic but it’s true! It was my complete dream. As someone who wants to be a musician, singing with your favorite band is about as goals as it gets.

Never in a million years did I think I would get picked, much less by the person I look up to more than anyone. 

But it happened.

And it was everything I’ve ever wanted and more. I honestly don’t know how I held it together throughout the song, especially because I’m a super emotional person. I think mixed with how ecstatic and shocked I was it made me able to function. And I remember every second! Kirstin said she liked my nails.

Every now and then, it’ll come back to me: I sang with Pentatonix. And then I start crying again.

I wish I was kidding.

The day after the show I was at home and finally let myself watch the video my friend’s grandma took, and I cried for two hours. I looked at the tweets she sent Alexx and I about the scrapbook we made her, remembered Kirstin crying about it, and sobbed more. I also sent a bunch of sappy videos to a few of the people I love, and it was a complete mess.

I’ve been very emotional since it happened. Perfect time for a blog post, right?

This year has been very, very hard for me. There were times I wasn’t sure how or if I’d make it through, and a lot of stuff I never saw coming nor knew how to handle hit me right in the face. I haven’t been truly and honestly happy in what feels like a very long time.

As soon as I got off that stage, I said to my friends that I was so happy to be alive.

Is that dramatic? Maybe? I don’t think so. I think the whole night showed me that good and amazing moments really are possible, and there are times where fighting through the hard times really do feel worth it. If you had told me back in February or even August that I would feel like this or that my wildest dream would come true, I would’ve rolled my eyes and shook my head. I wouldn’t have believed you! And yet, here I am. It’s a reality for me.

I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging, and I’m sorry if I do. What I’m trying to get across is that you never know what the future is going to hold. You might think this awful moment you might be in is forever, but it’s not. That sounds cliche, but it’s so true!! Kirstin Maldonado said she loved my singing. Anything really can happen.

And I think that fantastic things are waiting for each and every one of you.

The struggle is worth it. And you are strong enough to get through.

I wear Kirstin’s bracelet that she sells on her merch store every day. It says “you are strong,” and on the flip side, “don’t forget that.” And it’s a wonderful reminder. It makes me feel stronger just looking at it. It was the thing I looked at to help me get through those rough times, and it was on my wrist when I was singing next to Kirstin herself.

And to celebrate reaching almost thirty posts and a little over a year on this blog, I want to give one to someone else who doesn’t have it, because I think everyone deserves that reminder.

Go check out my twitter for details on how to win! If you don’t know my username you can click here and it’ll take you to it.

And if you don’t win, here’s the reminder for you to come back to whenever you may need it:

You are strong.
Don’t forget that. 

You might not believe it. I didn’t either. But it’s true.

Love you all,

Sofia

P.S: thank you to everyone for your kindness and for sharing the happiness for me. You’re part of the reason it was all so great. ❤️