Goodness, hopefully not all of my posts will take this long to update. I’ve done a lot of memorable stuff since my last post. Well, not a lot, I guess. I did get my braces off, though! After six entire years, my teeth are finally naked once again. I’m pretty happy with how it turned out, too. I can smile and not be so insecure about it, which is complete insanity. I’m still getting used to it.
Oh, and yeah, I totally saw Taylor Swift in concert, which was an absolute dream and I still rant about it even though it’s been, like, a month. I was front row, too. Like, no-one-was-in-front-of-us front. My best friend Anna and I waited outside on a pee-stained sidewalk (literally, you could smell it) for seven hours because it was general admission. Worth it? One hundred percent. Taylor blew me a kiss, and I feel like my life is fufilled because of it. I was born to have Taylor Swift blow a kiss my way.
I’ve always found it interesting how much music affects my life. Since I was a little kid, I’ve been surrounded and captivated by it. I can remember listening to Blink-182 and being absoulutely in love with both voices, even as a kindergartner. There’s a video of me singing in the backseat of my car loudly along to Somewhere Over the Rainbow, and I’m wearing a striped turtleneck and have braided pigtails. Music has never been just a sound to me. I don’t want to think about where I would be without it, which has become kind of a cliche thing to say these days. But it is strange, isn’t it? I remember after meeting Pentatonix, how much better about myself I felt. It was like hearing Mitch Grassi say he was so proud of me was a validation I didn’t know I needed. Going to a concert is like taking a whole bunch of antidepressants. Whenever I’m in that atmosphere, whether it be in a pit or in a seat, I feel at home. I feel okay. I don’t have to hide, and I certainly don’t hold back my emotions (cue the many videos I’ve ruined with my loud shrieking and/or sobbing). Being in a venue, I know for certain that this is what I want to do with my life, too. Music has been my way of life for so long, something that consumes my entire brain. And I love writing, especially lyrics, and I want to get my word out, so it just makes sense, right?
I worry it won’t be that easy. Actually, I know it won’t be that easy. I’ve already got the odds against me because I’m female. At least, that’s what I’m told. It is strange to go to a concert and see the striking difference in how much people pay attention to the band just because of how they look. It seems that when girls are singing, the audience is more likely to talk over her. And that sucks, but then there are people like Taylor Swift, and I’m pretty sure a fist fight would have broken out if someone had talked during her set. No, I don’t expect to be as amazing as Taylor Swift, but she does give me hope that I won’t be completely unsuccessful.
And, you know, if I end up not being able to make it in the music industry, I’ll have music to pull me through. That’s how it’s always gone. Whenever I’m dragged down, I put my headphones on and I fight through it. Plus, it’s not like I’ll have to stop making music. No one is ever going to be able to stop me from doing that, and that makes me feel a little bit better.